At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
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