If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
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