from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
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