I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize