I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize