In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
I just spread your mom's ashes with my new girlfriend. I wouldve waited for you to fly home but she was uncomfortable in the house with her remains there. I'll mail you the urn since u handpainted it.
YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND ALREADY!?! WTF WE JUST HAD HER FUNERAL 3 WEEKS AGO!!!!!!!!!!!!
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
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