it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
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By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
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I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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