I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
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