I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize