evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
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