Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
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Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
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The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
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