What a fucking waste of an outfit
I showed him my bush... on skype.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
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