That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
ok first of all what the fuck
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize