I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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