Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
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I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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