the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Randomize