I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize