I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
Houston, we have a squirter
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
Randomize