Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
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