Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
Randomize