Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
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