I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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