when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
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