I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
Randomize