so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
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