it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
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