We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Shame - the story of my life.
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