mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
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