It was confusing and full of hummus
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Sorry my hands just texted you
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
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