so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize