My hair reeks of homosexuality.
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize