is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
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keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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