So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
i'm signing you up for texting rehab
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
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