so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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