mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
we should paint friendship bongs
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
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