My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
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