I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
he wants to bone in the snuggie
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize