How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
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