she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
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