I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
Randomize