There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
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Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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