I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Randomize