i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
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