I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize