even my farts smell like vagina
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize