He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
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