I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
i came on her dog
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
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