Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
Randomize