I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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