i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
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Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
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Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
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