I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
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What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
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This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
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