I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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