the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
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